What next?

Have you heard the shocking news of the suicide bomber who marginally achieved his target? He was supposed to kill the Deputy something minister for Saudi Arabia. He became a victim to his own ass. attempt, but failed

http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20090902_aqap_paradigm_shifts_and_lessons_learned

This man, had the “stuff” tucked neatly away in his ass – that’s right! Up his anal cavity! It managed to destroy him, but not the shocked Deputy something minister for Saudi Arabia.

The last time somebody said liquids are hazardous, airports made people regurgiate their saliva when thirsty. No liquids allowed beyond check point. Fair enough. Rather thirsty than an entry in the obituary was the general consensus. I have blogged on this particular phenomenon here:

https://nourishncherish.wordpress.com/2006/09/26/bladders-and-airlines/

Now, if people start carrying *dash* up their *dash*, what are the measures to be taken? The mind boggles. As it is, we take off jackets, shoes, purses and are allowed our personal intimates for decency during the process. But, if the most personal of spots is the culprit, what would the regulation be?

1) Show evidence of having gone Potty atleast 5 minutes prior to check-in? What do people with chronic constipation have to do? (What? We have to cover all angles, don’t we?)
2) Remove the g-lines?
3) Sit on a hot spot during the check-in process. The seat would alternate with heat and coldness alike.
4) Make you lie face down through the baggage checker scan.

Do come up with your own speculations! I am eager to see the ideas lurking out there!

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11 thoughts on “What next?”

    1. Dude….that’s hilarious! What if people try to fart, but burp instead?!

      And, try not to think of the dogs please!

  1. “Rather thirsty than an entry in the obituary was the general consensus” – Black humor at its best!

    On the suggestion front, If someone finds a way to make pooping faster (vaccum cleaner of some sort), then he/she will be the next billionarie.
    I always thought sitting & mukking is “waste” of humans time.

    On the security aspect, the weak link is the x-ray machine. A guy is watching millions of bags everyday and he is bound to miss some thing serious.

  2. Excellent blog!!! I can’t stop laughing.
    New rule: “Those who have real gastric troubles must produce a medical certificate saying the stomach is really upset. Those who fail to produce necessary certificates will be severely prosecuted”.

  3. Have you seen those vacuum pumps you use to tackle blocked drains ?

    http://www.fitsmybudget.com/product.php?productid=26850

    Stick these on the backside of every passenger….’anything’ blocking the way is bound to come out!!!! Those suffering from constipation could also spare themselves a dose of laxative that way. Sometimes drains react late to these pumps and gurgle out later- I wish not to think about that on a flight!

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