I have been woefully inadept at keeping track of mergers and acquisitions lately. I think AT&T did the trick for me. For the first 62 times when, Cingular bought At&T and At&T merged with Cingular and Comcast became At&T and At&T became Comcast and AT&T provided services using SBC, I struggled but managed. The 63rd time was the charm – I gave up.
Why now I dread people asking me a simple enough question such as “Who is your cable provider?”! I wasn’t like that before. I liked people asking me who my cable provider was. I was the informed one see? Then, this game started. At first, I tried assigning aliases to the companies. At&T is A, and Cingular is B. So A buys B. With me so far? Good. Then, Comcast C came in, and bought B. Still manageable. Then, fricking B has a problem with his name and goes and changes it to A. So, C bought A, but actually B bought C, which makes sense since A bought B – hang on. A bought B, so B became …
By the time I figured it out, A&C formed a partnership of sorts, so A & B could be synonyms, buddies, pals. Then, C felt left out and joined in too, not by becoming their pal, but by buying them. Here is a helpful diagram:
I wonder whether their employees know who they are working for. I figure when they really want to know, they just look at their latest paycheck.
Ever the stickler for the dramatic, I just wring my hands up in the air and a note of exasperation seeps into my soul and you hear it when I reply “Oh, AT&T or Cingular or Comcast or one of those things!” It was upto people to go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At%26T and figure it out for themselves.
When these poets come and tell you, something like this
You only think Life is tough
When you think you’ve had enough
But it will be better
If you can twitter
If you must
Or similar such rot, I’ve always felt drained and reached for a chocolate. Now, as though all the strain of keeping track of phone and cable providers were not enough for the regular taxpayer, this news comes along. Kraft is buying Cadbury’s
I should finish with a silly punch though
What does it take to get a fruit and nut around here?
Ans: Some Kraft!