We now have a new car. The husband has been found lurking in the garage with this new beauty on Saturday afternoons looking peaceful and happy. Link from the husband detailing the wonderful features it has:
An energy efficient marvel that ferries me to and fro. This thing also has an in-built GPS. Every now and then, I test the limits of its patience like I did this morning. I know these Global Posi. Systems should not have tones when they direct users, but I swear mine does. She directs most of the time, moans sometimes, sounds exasperated sometimes and orders you around sometimes – she could be a mother. All she wants is obedience, why can’t people give it to her? She knows what she is doing doesn’t she?
So, there I was driving along as per usual fiddling around with the radio stations every now and then, when I hear of a traffic jam in my usual route. Now, that can’t do, I tell myself and immediately take off in another route that I know is slower, but should get me moving. The GPS is alarmed.
“Please take U-turn at nearest intersection”
“Please turn left and immediate right turn”
This goes on for a while before I cannot ignore it anymore. She has acquired a tone.
“PLEASE JUST TURN LEFT HERE!”
We are made of sterner stuff than GPS-es think.
Prior to this, the GPS was just recalculating the route without telling me, but she decides that playing the sympathy card may drive some sense into me and starts telling me
“Recalculating route. Please take right turn in 0.25 miles.” *See all the things that I am doing for you? I am re-cal-cul-at-ing the route!*
How many times have I had to recalculate things – poof! I wave a negligent hand at her and continue on my fantasy ride.
After 4 such attempts, I am now genuinely lost, because I turned where I thought I should, and I thought wrong. I look to the GPS, but she seems to have had it with me. She stopped directing me! It was almost as if she said, if you don’t listen to me anyway, why bother?
I mean the complete cold shoulder.
I turned right just to get her to start recalculating again and she just sat there. I made another left turn and luckily, it turned out to be the right one. I went on. Finally, one signal before my destination, she sits up and pleads,
“TAKE LEFT TURN. TAKE LEFT TURN AND BEAR RIGHT”
She must think I am a complete imbecile because she beeps and says again
“TAKE LEFT TURN. TAKE LEFT TURN AND BEAR RIGHT NOW”
I do and she lets out an audible sigh of relief as she says, “Your destination has now arrived. Your route guidance will now stop” and she retires for the day. Oh! What a long day!
I try to smile at her but she has taken the day off. Maybe she isn’t a mother after all. What do you think?